


Little Lion Man

by caplanbuckybarnes



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Gangsters, Murder, Secrets, Suggestive Themes, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-04-14 02:51:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14126502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caplanbuckybarnes/pseuds/caplanbuckybarnes
Summary: Silver linings? Yeah, Bucky knows them all too well.





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky sat in the bar with her to his left, a glass of whiskey in his hand as he listened to her speaking about the troubles she’d been dealing with throughout her life. He sat quietly and watched her lips move as they formed words. He brought the glass to his lips and sipped at the cold beverage as he got lost in her words. He always enjoyed spending his nights with you at familiar spots. But as he checked the time, he knew he’d have to take you back home soon enough. He’d had an appointment across town he had to attend with his father, George,. And he’d be a fool to back out from a plan with his father.

Absently, he ran his finger around the rim of the glass, soaking up every single word that she spoke. It had ways of soothing his troubled mind that he would never speak about aloud to anyone.  Maybe, he thought, maybe that was why he felt so attached to her and allowed him to feel emotions for her he’d never feel for another woman in his life. He fell when the pair had been teenaggers, and after all this time, he still felt the same way.

But even she hadn’t known his true lifestyle, his true way of living. He’d kept it a secret since they had met in primary school. He lied a life of crime and murder, terror and chaos. He lived a life of sex and alcohol. He lived a rich man’s life, full of wealth and respect. He lived a life of agony and fear. He lived in a world where, with the snap of a finger, he could commence mass murder and receive gratitude and respect for the deed.

He lived a world where he could point a gun between some poor innocent man’s eyes and pull the trigger without flinching. No, he wasn’t a murderer, but he was damn close enough to be considered as one. He lived the mobster life, the gangster wealth. He was born into this world and he knew he’d never be able to leave it. He was born into a world that demanded respect for his family’s namesake. People bowed down to his father whenever he so much as stepped outside in public. Men kissed the ground he walked upon and ladies threw themselves at him.

Royalty was in his blood, just as much as chaos and destruction. He loved it, truly.  The only thing ceasing him from going overboard, into the insanity? It was her, the beautiful woman sitting next to him, still chatting up a storm in his ear about the night before with her father. It would tear his life apart had she ever found out his living situations. He’d lose her in every possible way a man could lose his precious lady.  So, he kept this deep secret inside him, pretending to live a life of rainbows and kittens for her.

“Bucky, you still with me, hmm?” Her voice came to his ear, her lips grazing the shell of his ear as she leaned in.

Shivering, he blinked his thoughts away and grinned widely at her. “Of course, sweet pea. The trip to the zoo yesterday with your pops, the monkeys, right?”

She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, nearly causing him to mewl in affection. “Buck, you’re too drunk to drive all the way home. Why not just crash at my place tonight?”

He wanted to accept her offer, hell, he’d done it plenty of times over the years. But he declined her offer, the affairs of tomorrow running through his mind at a rapid pace. “I can’t, love.” He declined softly as he leaned into her touch. “My pops wants me to accompany him to meet one of his friends. I don’t know what it’s about. But he really wants me to be home tonight. He tells me it’s urgent that I attend it with him.”

She pouted but accept his reasonings. He wasn’t entirely lying to her, but he wished he could tell her the full truth about his living. But he wouldn’t, it would put her in danger, and Bucky would rather kill himself than do something as risky as to put your life on the line. George had convinced several diplomats  that Bucky had only been using her for a good lay. George convinced several other men that his son was preparing for her ultimate death.

Little had Bucky known at that moment, but the upcomings weeks would change his life for the worst. Had he known about these terrible events, he would have grabbed her by the arm and take her far away. He would have never left her side. He would burn the entire world for her, yet he can’t save himself. But her, oh damn, her, yes, he’d kill for her.

He held her han casually as they sat in the back of the cabbie, her tracing patterns in the palm of his hand. He was a foolish man, for loving her. He held no business doing so. But he fell, and he fell hard in love for her, this girl with the brightest smile and the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. He would never speak of his feelings to her, not to anyone.

But once he’d been in the comfort of his own bed, he longed for her touch on his skin once more. He longed for her body warmth in the empty space next to him. He longed for her voice to soothe his horrors of the night. Oh, how he longed for her.


	2. Chapter 2

She worried about him, Bucky knew this all too well. It was in her nature to worry. He’d be gone from school for weeks at a time. He wouldn’t answer her phone calls or texts for weeks, either. It’s not as though he meant for it to happen. But the secret life he led, t wouldn’t do good for her to be apart of it. He’d wanted to confess his dirty deed and his sins to her plenty of times. But George forbade.

Bucky grimaced as his father stood in front of him, scrutinizing his suit, scowling at the few wrinkles spread across his mid drift. George has not approved of Bucky choice of wardrobe, but he had no say in the matter. Bucky didn’t care, his head was full of thoughts of her anyhow. Thoughts of Steve and Sarah had crossed his mind, pulling at his heart strings. He grimaced as he remembered the fight that had led the mother and son to go into hiding. Sicne Steve’s father had been dead, ANthony Stark and Brock Rowe had aimed a thick bounty of Steve's head, causing Bucky to force them into hiding. He worried over his friend every single day.

“Have you thought more about riding Y/N out of your life, James?” George asked him as he straightened the tie around Bucky’s neck. 

“She hasn’t got a clue about me, pop; I promise.” Bucky mumbled. It was a conversation he grew tired of. It was a conversation Bucky had plenty of times with the old man. She was harmless, would hardly hurt a fly. Bucky envied her for living a life he so desperately craved. But he would never lived the life of a normal person. 

Bucky nodded mutely as George stepped away from him, feeling satisfied. “WHy do we have to wear this attire when Rumlow is going to die anyhow?”

“Class, James.” He answered, patting his son’s cheek tenderly. “Class always trumps over violence, rember that, will you?”

“He’s going to pay for what he’d done to mother, isn’t he?” Bucky watched as his father strolled across the room and opened his weaponry.

“You okay with the .44, son?” He asked, ignoring Bucky’s question.

“Of course,” bucky answered, walking over to stand next to his father. He took the gun and tucked it beneath his shirt.

Soon enough, the pair of men were out of the house and on their way over to the water’s edge in the fish factory district of the town. Bucky swallowed his nerves down as he stepped out of the car and walked over to his father's side. “Calm down, James; I can smell your anticipation.” George said as he strut over to the cabin that was closest to the water’s edge.

“To what do I owe the Barnes’s presence in my territory?” the drunken voice of Brock Rumlow rung out, alerting the man sleeping on the couch on the far left corner.

“Certainly not a social call, Brock.” George scoffed, pulling out his handgun from its hidden place beneath his jacket and pointing it at the man’s chest.

“Alexander, will you-” Brock’s request was cut short as George strut over and pressed the barrel of the gun into this cheekbone.

“Pierce?” George commented, glancing up at the man midway from standing from the couch. “Scared, huh?” 

“Rumlow?” Pierce asked in fright. “Rumlow!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Brock called out as he began to rub at his temples. “Barnes, to what due I owe this surprise visit, hmm?”

“Personal business.” George answered, hardly glancing at Bucky who stood by his side in silence. “Revenge, whatever you’d like to call it.” George shrugged carelessly as he pointed the gun at Alexander and pulled the trigger, watching as the man fell against the couch in a heap, blood splattering in every direction.

“Barnes!” Rumlow yelled out in a panic, letting of of his normally unfazed demeanor slip just the slightest bit. Bucky couldn't stop the events i the next few seconds. A gun was pointed at his father before anyone could react, a bullet was shot into his father’s chest.

The only sound filling the large space had been the echoing thump of his father’s body hitting the concrete ground. He hardly composed himself as rage filled his blood.

“I wanted George before kid,” Rumlowe’s slick voice came to his ears. “Don’t come to my territory and demand respect.”

“You’re a monster,” he swallowed as Brock strolled around his desk to lean against it. “I swear, I’ll kill you.”

Brock smiled. “You’re father swore that he’d choke me to death.” He clicked his tongue. “Do you want to end up like him, hmm? I don’t want to kill the last of your bloodline, sonny. Your ancestors would give me hell if I tried.”

“I’ll kill you.” He reached for the concealed gun.

“You ain’t made for this lifestyle, kiddo.” Brock chuckled. “Why don’t you go home and play in your little sandbox?”

“Want to bet on that?” Bucky scowled and raised a quivering hand.

“Put the gun down, James.” Brock looked utterly amused. “I’ll take you out for some pizza and we can discuss business like men. We can laugh and joke about how foolish of a man your father had been to storm in here and try to intimidate me.” He licked at his lips as he studied George’s body on the ground. “It’s a shame, really. You’re an orphan now, aren’t you?”

“I want to thank, Brock, for causing me to climb the ladder quicker than I ever expected. I wasn’t supposed to gain my father's business for years to come. But thank you for this.” Bucky could hear his heart beating in his ears. He wanted to faint. He wanted to run and scream at the world. But he had an image to uphold. He tightened his grip on the gun before swallowing hard and looking the older man in the eye before he pulled the trigger. Bucky hardly ever fired a weapon, usually choosing to go about issues with fist fights.

Ignoring the other bodies laying on the ground and he picked up his father and half dragged him out of the place and slowly moved his way to the car. It was only a matter of time before Rumlowe’s henchmen had caught onto the sounds of gunshots and Bucky was in no mood to deal with more murder. He placed his father’s body on the backseat before speeding his way back home, calling out to his maids Maria and Jessica.

The pair of girls came bustling over to him. “Master Barnes.” MAria greeted wiel Jessica stayed silent.

Bucky breathed deeply and blinked away the tears that threatened to fall as he pointed outside to the car. “I want the pair of you to lay my father’s body to rest. Please.”

He ignored the shocked expressions on the girl’s faces as he drug his feet into the kitchen, making his way over to the alcohol closet/. He grabbed the first bottle his fingers wrapped around and chugged it the moment the cork has been popped off.

The brand new Tennessee Whiskey had been drained within moments.


	3. Chapter 3

She grew worried over the last few weeks when Bucky had become silent once more. He’d ignored her phone calls and text messages. It’d been three weeks since the night at the bar. She’d expected to hear from him by now. She knew he was his own person and he was probably out of town with his father like he always said he was whenever he had gone out of contact with her/ She wanted to try and get in contact with Steve, but the man had seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. She had tried every single phone number he’d ever had to no avail.

Surely either lint Barton or Sam Wilson would know of their whereabouts, right? The two men grew up with the her and Bucky. Sam was a bit older than Bucky and herself. He used to sneak alcohol into school for them when they were younger so they could hide out in the football field and drink between classes. Sam was a good influence, right? Clint had been more into wrestling and boxing after high school had ended some years ago. He traveled around the country, winning nearly every match possible.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she turned to look at her father who was sitting in his usual recliner, holding a newspaper in front of him. “Do you mind if I take the car for a while?”

“Where are you heading off to, sweet pea?” He asked, flipping the page.

“I wanted to go see Willie.” She bargained. “I’m worried about Bucky and I feel like he might know where James had run off to.”

“I’m sure Barnes is doing well, honey bun,” her dad spoke in tender tones. He handed her the car keys anyway.

“I’ll be back soon, papa.” She smiled and stood up, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.

He grunted a response as she made her way to the front door, closing it softly before making her way to the car and settling herself behind the wheel. She sung to herself to calm her worries as she made her way over to the Little Birdie, the bar that Sam owned and tended. She sat in front of the place for a long moment after she parked the car, chewing on her nails, silently praying that Bucky would be sitting inside, chatting it up with Sam or some other friend.

She finally entered the spacious place, scanning the room, slightly bobbing her head to the soft music as it played over the speakers. She couldn’t find Bucky’s mop of hair anywhere. She waved to a few patrons that she recognized before setting herself in front of the bartop,tapping one finger on the wooden surface.

“Y/N!” Sam greeted as he walked over to her. “Where’s your partner in crime, huh?”

“That’s why I’m here, Willie.” She explained, taking a slow breath. “He’s been absent again. And Steve still hasn’t passed by either. Every time I ask Buck about it, he redirects the question onto some other topic.”

“Have you tried calling his house phone?” He asked, wrinkling his brows in thought.

“No,” she shook her head. “He doesn’t own one. Plus, he’s never really invited me to his house, either. He says his parents are strict about him having females over, even though he’s an adult. It’s a forbidden rule he tends to keep, he says.”

“Lang!” Sam called over to the other bartender. “Give me five minutes?”

The other bartender nodded and walked over. “What’s up?”

“I gotta make a phone call. Cover for me?”

“Sure thing!”

True to his words, Sam was in and out of the office within five minutes. “Willie?” SHe asked the moment she noticed the grim expression on his face.

He waved her off, clearly annoyed or bothered by something. “Scott, I’m sorry; I have to go make a house call real quick.”

“No problem, man.:” Scott laughed as he looked over from his spot as he was mixing a drink for a pair of ladies. “Be safe!”

Sam hardly glanced in her direction as he strolled from behind the counter. “Did you drive her on your own?” He asked as she had followed him out of the bar, hot on his heels in worry.

“Yes, of course. Why?”

“Go home and stay there.” He requested. “I can’t explain anything right now; it’s not quite my place. But something happened and I need to go to James. You have to go back home and stay there.”

“Tell me what’s wrong with Bucky.’

“It’s not my place to say, kid.”

“Sam, please,” she begged. “He’s my best friend and he’s been acting so weird lately and so distant. I’m worried, please.”

He shook his head with a hurt expression on his face before he pulled her into a tight hug and going around the corner to fetch his car. She stood in the spot as she heard his tires screeching.

***********

Sam walked into Bucky’s house and grimaced. It smelled of alcohol and vomit; a scent Sam knew all to well due to his place behind the bar. “Bucky, where the hell you at, man?” Sam called, hearing his vice echo into the vast space. “C’mon, Barnes.”

He heard bottles rolling around on tiles in the kitchen and Sam made a beeline for it. “James-” he sighed as he strut down the corridor before stopping in the entrance way. Bucky was sitting on the cold tiles on the floor, shirt gritty and undone, pants stained in what Sam assumed had been dry vomit.

“James.” He called out cautiously, easing his way into the kitchen before kneeling beside the man. “James?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Bucky mumbled before reaching for a half empty bottle to his right and chugging from it before throwing it violently across the room, shattering the glass on impact.

“Y/N is worried about you, man,” he explained. “She said you disappeared on her again. I wanted to come make sure everything was okay. Please tell me you didn’t relapse again? Y/N will murder you and I might just let her do it this time.”

“Pops died.” He answered numbly. “We went after Rumlow’s estates. Brock killed him.” He looked at Sam. “She don’t know about my life, Sammy, she’s too innocent for this lifestyle. I have nobody left in my life. Where the fuck have I gone wrong? WHat am I going to do?”

“You’re going to have to talk to her, Barnes,” Sam sighed as Bucky gripped into his shirt sleeve. “She’s your longest friend. I’m sure she’d understand. Remember when I lost Riley, my brother in that shoot out? Remember how torn up I felt? But I’m still here, man.Scott, one of the bartenders I work with, he lost his wife and daughter in a car accident. We’re all here for you, man. I can promise you, Y/N will not leave your side. She cares too much about you to leave your side.”

“I can’t see Y/N after this, Sammy.” He shook his head. “My life is different now. I have an entire fucking empire to control now. I have business to attire and conquer over. I have territories to claim. I have to be the best, just like my father before me.”

“No matter what happens from now on, Bucky,” he sighed. “Take Y/N with you, embrace her and show her the real side of you, the side you never wanted her to know. You’re still her best friend, and she will always be your number one priority.”

“I need to get to Steve, Wylie.” He licked at his lips. “He needs to be here with me. He can handle this shit storm better than anyone else I know. Rumlow’s thugs are gaining in number every day and Steve’s smart enough to know exactly how to handle it.”

“Steve’s been off the grid for how long, now?” Sam asked. “He won’t know what’s going on. Does she know-?”

Bucky shook his head. “No. She knows nothing about the life Steve and myself live in. It’d kill her, quite literally. If Rumlow’s gang catches a whiff of her,  they’d throw her into the river and cover their tracks. They’ve been out for ways to destroy my father and nearly succeeded when they killed my ma a few years back. I can’t let them get to her. I shoved Steve away for the same reason. They would have tortured him and Sarah endlessly.”

Sam remained quiet for another moment. “You have to tell her. Buck, if you die-”

He was interrupted as commotion was heard outside, a female screaming profanities and then a door slamming against the wall.

“Who the fuck-” Bucky growled out as he attempted to stand up before her panicked voice echoed into the house, calling out Bucky’s name.

“How the fuck did she find my house?” He growled at Sam. “Y/N.” He swallowed hard as she appeared in the doorway of the kitchen to see Sam leaning over Bucky’s disheveled appearance. Sma quickly darted out of the way as she rushed over to Bucky and pulled him into a snug embrace.

“Bucky!” She sighed as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. “What happened to you? Why do you look like this? Talk to me!”

Bucky took a shuddered breath, inhaling her scent, missing her touch too much.

“Talk to her, Bucky.” Sam’s voice was heard before his footsteps disappeared through the hallway.

“I can’t.” he mumbled into her shirt. “I can’t.”

He sighed as he gripped onto her body, knowing no matter what he said to her, it would tear hi mti pieces. “Baby?” he asked, using a term of affection like he always done when he had important things to speak about. “Baby c’mon. I have to talk to you about a few things. Get up, let me stand.”

She loosened her grip on him and stood up before hoisting him up as well. He took another calming breath before he gripped her hand in his own, feeling vomit rising in his throat. He didn’t know if it was his nerves or the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. “Follow me?” He offered nodding over to the kitchen doors that led to his back patio.

She took his offered hand and squeezed it tenderly as he led her outside. The brightness too Bucky by surprise for a moment until his eyes adjusted. The flowers in his garden were in full bloom. He heard her gasp in surprise and he couldn’t help the smile that crept along his face at the sound of her innocence.

“I’m going to give you two choices,” he started as she turned to look at him. “Either you leave the state, or you move into this house with me.”

“What, Bucky? What?”

“There’s things about my life that you don’t know about. There are things I’ve hidden from you for a long time, Y/N. I’ve done things to protect you, my father protected you and my mother. But I can’t hide under my father’s protection any longer. He’s dead and I refuse to see you gone too. There’s a reason I never wanted you here. There’s a reason you never met my parents.”

Chuckling, she rolled her eyes. “You’re saying all of this as if you live a life of crime and we’re about to run away before confessing our undying love for each other.”

“Y/N, please,” he begged, squeezing her hand tighter. “I can’t protect you like I was once able. You’re a target and my father’s enemy will look for you everywhere. They will torture me endlessly until my empire falls.”

“Empire?” she asked. “Bucky, what in the hell are you talking about?”

“My father, Y/N. My father was a mobster. He owned these streets and I am now the heir of it all, his fortune and this city. I’m going to take over the streets and every business he owned once the news of his death hits the papers. I never told you about this because I feared the loss of your friendship. It was selfish of me and I want to beg for your forgiveness. But I know I don’t deserve it. My father has many enemies, and those enemies know a lot about you. Nick Fury and Brock Rumlow are the reason why I tried keeping you away. They will kill you without a second thought to get under my skin, just like they did with my parents. Please, come live here with me so I can keep you safe.”

“Bucky, no.” she shook her head. She couldn’t believe the words coming from her best friend’s mouth. He wasn’t violent! He never was! He was always so soft nd kind with her. He couldn’t live a life of death and deceit. There’s no way that could be. “They haven’t come after me before. Why would they now?”

“Because my father’s gone.”

“We’ve known eachother since primary school Buck!” SHe scoffed.

“Dad convinced them I was playing with you, that I was using you as a toy for my own personal gain. He convinced them that I was going to marry you and kill you to gain respect in the streets. He convinced the enemy that i was bedding you.  He was scared for you. Y/N, I can’t lose you.” Fuck!” He yelled out as tears clouded his vision. He released her hand and swiped at his face. “Please, don’t force me to drive you away like i did with Steve so he could be safe and away.”

“What did you do to Steve?” she asked.

“I wanted to protect him so I forced him out of the city. He’s safe as long as he stays away.”

“I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth.” She shook her head. “Bucky, tell me the truth. What  happened to Steve and your father?”

“I just told you what happened to him!” He nearly shouted as a surge of uncontrollable rage fired through him. “I ran him out of the state so he could be safe.”

“Does he know you’re in the mafia?” she asked.

“Love-” he cut off as she forcefully pushed him against the brick wall behind him.

“Tell me he’s not dead because of you.” Angry tears poured down her face. “PLease, James.”

“I told you, he’s safe.” He groaned out, rubbing the back of his skull. “Y/N, let me go.”

“What’s going to happen if I stay with my dad?” she asked.

“He will murdered and so will you.” he answered as she took a half step away. “They will torture him in front of you. If you come here, I can protect you.”

“How do you know what they will do?” she asked.

“Because I watched my own mother being skinned alive three years ago by the same man who killed my father weeks ago. They don’t care if I love you, or not. They will murder you without hesitation. They will torture you endlessly until you are begging to be killed by them.”

She opened her mouth but he interrupted her.

“I refuse to allow them to lay their filthy paws on you. I can’t let that happen.” He said. “They will do the exact same thing to you and your father, Y/N. They will beat you and rape you and slit your throat without a car in the world. I’m begging you to come live here with me and be safe.”

“What about my father, Buck?”

“I’ll send him off to Steve and Sarah; they will care for him.”

“Will I be able to talk to him?”

“Once a month.”

“How long do I have to decide?”

“You decide now and I’ll have one of my boys take you back home so you  can gather your belongings. I have plenty of spare bedrooms you can choose from. I can have someone else escort your father to Steve’s cabin.” He watched as her eyes grew. All Bucky had wanted to do was to hold her tightly in his arms and never let her go. She was his best friend, the happiest consistency in his life. All that would change if she decided to stay with her father. She was the closest person Bucky had in relativity. He knew it would break me completely if she walked out on him now. “Please, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” She shook her head, causing Bucky’s heart to crumble. “You may be okay with not being able to see Steve, but I refuse to place my father in a situation where I cannot see him.”

“Honey, please,” Bucky cried out. “Don’t go. Do go back to your house. Stay here with me, please.”

She looked down at the ground as she walked back into the house. Bucky heard her choke out a sob as he followed her back into the house, desperate to be close to her.

“I’ll see you around, Bucky.”

It took all of Bucky’s willpower not to grab ahold of her and hug her tightly on the spot so she wouldn’t leave him.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s been a little over a week and she had been forcefully awoken by a loud commotion sounding from the kitchen downstairs. Thoughts of Bucky and his heeded warnings cruised through her mind as she tore her duvet from her body and ran out of her room before taking the stairs three at a time until she jumped over the railing and ran into the kitchen.

“We have nothing of value!” she heard heard fathers voice echoing into the hallway. “Leave, leave now before I call the police!”

“Dad!” She hollered out as she rushed into the kitchen where three people were gathered around the room. “Dad!”

“Y/N, return to your room, I got this under control!”

“What are you doing?” you shouted, looking between the masked men and her father. She knew exactly what was going on. Bucky had warned her of the outcome had she not gone to live with him.

Her father pushed her roughly out of the room as the man charged forward, brandishing knives in their hands. Her father groaned out in pain, clutching the handle of the knife that had penetrated his lower abdomen The masked man roughly pulled the knife from his body and allowed him to fall to the ground before they had retreated out of the house.

“Dad! No!” she swallowed down vomit as she rushed over to him. “Please, don’t l;eave me here.” she bawled as the life left her father’s body. She cradled her father’s body for a long moment before gathering the courage to walk over to the table and grab his cell phone before dialing Bucky’s number.

“Mr. Y/L/N?” his exhausted voice came to her ear. “It’s the middle of the night, is everything okay? Is Y/N okay?”

She only answered as a hiccuping sob left her mouth.

“Y/N, honey, what’s wrong?” Bucky’s voice became urgent, sleep long forgotten as he listened to her sobs. “Stay there and don’t move. I’ll be there soon.” She nodded knowing he couldn’t see her reaction as she dropped the phone back onto the table.

*****

 _This girl hasn’t spoken to me in a week. What the fuck could have happened?_ He knew the answer to his questions; either Stark or Fury had been out for revenge. Gripping the steering wheel, Bucky sped through the streets until he reached her home. One he arrived, he jumped out of the car and ran into her home, locating her in her kitchen, draped over her father’s body.

Rushing over to her, Bucky dropped to his knees. Once she felt his presence next her her, she turned around and clung to him. “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay.” He tried to soothe her, running his fingers up and down her spine. She clung to him tighter and he gripped the back of her shirt. He tried holding himself together as he looked at her father’s body laying inches away from where they sat.

He knew this was all his doing. He felt the betrayal of tears forming in his eyelids and he sucked in a deep breath before biting down on his bottom lip.

Her father had been a good man, a kind and gentle soul, just like her. He hadn’t wanted this to happen, but he knew it would, if only she had listened to him! He had pleaded with her, desperate to keep harm out of her life. He couldn’t be angry at anyone besides himself. The only thing the pair of them had left was each other and Bucky would set the world aflame it that meant he could protect her from further harm.

“Y/N?” He eased as her sobs seemed to quiet down. He looked down at her and noticed she had cried herself to sleep on his shoulder. He gently adjusted himself so he could pick her up. He would be a fool to leave her in this house alone again. She could fight with him in the morning. But for now, she needed to rest and be calm. He carried her to his car before making his way back to his house. He knew the moment she woke up he’d have a million things to explain and none of the answers he could give her were anything close to polite.

He never should have let her walk out of his house. He should have held her tightly and never let go. She could have punched and kicked and screamed all she wanted when she had woken up. But for now, she needed to ease her mind. She could hate him in the morning, run away, killed him. Bucky knew he deserved it.

He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, nor her friendship or love. He didn’t deserve to have such a loving person in his life. He destroyed all the good things in his life and he knew it. He was foolish to assume she would be safe forever.

Slowly, he pulled into the garage and carried her into the house. He placed her in a spare bedroom before tucking her in and kissing her forehead. He choked out a sob before leaving her alone in the room and entering his own bedroom down the hall. He knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.

Rubbing at his face, he walked over to the desk in the corner of his bedroom and pulled the telephone close to him before dialing Steve’s number

“Sarah, hi,” Bucky greeted at the sound of her sleepy voice on the other end of the line. “Listen, can you wake Steve for me?” Once Steve’s voice was heard, Bucky sighed. “Brock’s dead, Stevie.”

“Why do I have the feeling you didn’t risk this call just to inform me of that?”

“Pops died.” Bucky whispered as he started fiddling with a pen in front of him. “They got to Y/N’s dad as well.”

“I thought she had no idea-”

“She followed Willie over here.” Bucky sobbed. “”I’m scared shitless, Steve. I - I have to talk to her in the morning. I’ll think of something to tell her.”

“Buck, I’m here if you need me, okay?”

“Good night, Steve.” he whispered before throwing the phone back on the bed and choking out a flurry of sobs.


End file.
